Welcome to The Morning Dump, bite-sized stories corralled into a single article for your morning perusal. If your morning coffee’s working a little too well, pull up a throne and have a gander at the best of the rest of yesterday.
That Porsche IPO Reportedly Still Might Happen
Hi, we’re Volkswagen Group. Welcome to Jackass. Alright, so maybe an IPO in today’s market might not bring about the same testicular pain as Knoxville and Co. can muster up, but it still seems like a sketchy idea. Reuters reports that the Porsche IPO is progressing along, with Volkswagen filing an intention to float to see if buyers express sufficient interest in Porsche. So what happens if this float is successful? Well, a value of between 60 billion and 85 billion Euros is expected, which could produce Scrooge McDuck levels of liquidity. In addition, Porsche is expected to get even more Porsche. “It would be the technical go-ahead, nothing more,” one of the sources said ahead of the decision. “It’s paving the way, but this would not guarantee that the stock market bell will ring in the end.” Of course, there’s still a good chance an IPO might not actually happen. The markets haven’t been having a great time recently, with factors like inflation and war resulting in both multiple compression and earnings compression. Investors are quite bearish, so getting them to bite on a massive IPO could be tricky.
Stellantis Extends Second Minivan Shift
Good news from the land of poutine. Automotive News Canada reports that Stellantis is extending a second shift in its Windsor, Ont. minivan plant. Not only is this good news for auto workers, it’s also good news for minivan enthusiasts who wish to see a steady flow of Chrysler vans from the plant to dealerships. It certainly doesn’t hurt that the Pacifica and its kin are experiencing a bit of a surge in popularity. The automaker confirmed the plan, but didn’t say why it extended the shift. Stellantis said in October 2021 that it would eliminate the second shift in early spring of 2022, but it has since extended the life of the shift three times. “Which is great news,” Cassidy said in his video. “We’ve been continuing to fight and argue over that second-shift issue.” Oh hell yeah. It’s van time indeed. Look, you can bring your Kia Telluride or Nissan Pathfinder, or even your first-generation Volvo XC90 with its extremely clever seats, Stow N Go will vanquish all comers in regard to flexibility. It’s like having a superpower, long may it live.
Japanese Automakers Suspend Production Due To Typhoon
While war and pandemic have generally dominated the new car shortage, sickness and conflict aren’t the only possible threats to making cars. Reuters reports that Toyota and Nissan battened down the hatches in prep for an incoming typhoon. While a brief interruption, these production suspensions are a good reminder of how nature can affect new car supply. Whether typhoons in Japan, wildfires in Europe, or hurricanes in America, severe weather events can pose a hazard to vehicle production, component production, and shipping. Given how Toyota and Nissan are expecting swift reopening, this typhoon should have a fairly mild effect on new car production, but not all severe weather events will be so quickly managed. The automaker expects to resume production on the Tuesday night shift, it said on its website. Similarly, Nissan Motor Corp and Nissan Shatai Co subsidiaries in Fukuoka prefecture are expected to suspend production for Monday night and Tuesday daylight shifts, a Nissan Motor spokesperson told Reuters.
Volvo Tries Selling XC60s Using Noises
Here’s a strange one. Presented with the task of getting younger buyers into XC60 crossovers, Volvo has used an XC60 to create a piece of electronic music. While songs incorporating door slams and window regulators aren’t anything new, this Volvo spot brings car ASMR production to new levels. While pitch-shifted horns are quite novel, the project raises a big question of why? Let’s see what Volvo told Automotive News about the project. New is certainly right. Volvo collaborated with Canadian YouTuber Andrew Huang and musician Dresage to produce the track in order to showcase XC60 features like the infotainment system, air purifier, panoramic roof, and remarkably solid door thud. Rather oddly for Volvo, there’s no mention of safety or crash protection whatsoever, although that might be a good thing since everyone is showcasing advanced driver assistance suites these days. The ad itself is quite simple, primarily using video overlays of sounds like sun visors closing and air vents being adjusted. While I have no idea if this will actually sell XC60 crossovers, it’s really quite a satisfying project for anyone fond of a well-tuned door.
The Flush
Whelp, time to drop the lid on today’s edition of The Morning Dump. Happy Wednesday, everyone. We’ve made it to the middle of the week. Speaking of things in the middle, I want to ask what your ideal center console would look like. Would it fold up to be a seat, feature tiered storage, be ergonomically perfect for shifting a manual gearbox, or would it be something else completely? Ah yes, the minivan. First thing that car blogs taught me is WAGONS WAGONS WAGONS WAGONS WAGONS WAGONS!!!! The second thing they taught me is to respect the v a n . I’m being a bit sarcastic here but the point stands. More vans is a good thing, it means less people in mammoth SUVs and trucks that are a greater risk to everyone around them…I also think the vans are marginally better fuel economy wise as well, but don’t quote me on that. My ideal center console is a well integrated medium sized touch screen with redundant buttons to access everything, physical nobs for climate control, a small amount of storage with multiple USB ports, two cup holders, an arm that’s actually at arm level, and if the car is automatic a mechanical shift lever and a classic rip-it E brake, which I’d also say is vital to a manual. I can’t stand electronic shift levers. They’re vague, usually tricky to modulate, and needlessly complicate a part of the car that never needed fixing in the first place. I still remember test driving the current 330i and needing the salesman to explain how to manage BMW’s electronic shifter weirdness…and my dad has a Grand Cherokee with an electronic lever that never goes between reverse and drive without a fight. No thanks, I’ll take mechanical connection with defined gears every time…and I enjoy a rip-it e brake for the same reasons, not to mention I always use the parking brake on my cars. I was told that it puts less stress on the transmission, and since I seek out DCTs to daily, every little bit of wear reduction helps…but feel free to correct me if I’m wrong here. Either way, the electronic ones just weird me out and reduce how connected to the car I feel. On the books? It’s a spectacularly GOOD idea for VW to bulk up the balance sheet for what’s to come. I’m not sure why the auto press is so confused by the underlying financial rationale here. To at least know.. wtf the thing.. is trying to do… If VW’s worried about recession? Why WOULDN’T you bulk up your balance sheet for the coming economic times and a big EV shift, by putting billions in the bank? What do “auto journalists” know that the expert investment banks and analysts in the sector don’t know? But yeah, minivans are better than SUV’s and crossovers for the intended purpose. Dont need a center console. Yeah, you thought shipping was going to improve? Ha ha no. This is the bad timeline. Shipping from Taiwan, South Korea, Russia, China, the Philippines, and Japan have all been severely disrupted by Hinnamnor. South Korea recorded over 37 inches of rain in some areas, in less than 12 hours. New Taipei saw enough rain to fully replenish two reservoirs and flood the Keelung River. Hope you like more delayed parts and cars. The market’s still pretty good. There’s lots of liquidity in the marketplace, especially for one of the most valuable brands in the universe. They might not get the pricing they’d have gotten a year ago, but they’ll get a fair price, build up the VW balance sheet, and be better braced for a coming recession. It’s a winner all the way around, so I’m curious what the “auto journalist” class thinks holds back an offering that the investment banks, the sellers and the market all seem keen for? Check extra instructions by visiting following web….. https://paymentroot258.pages.dev/ For those who were as confused by this as I was, it appears that Chrysler calls the Voyager the Grand Caravan north of the border. Very odd. Seems like the same thing as Ford ditching “Taurus”, the class leader. Why? https://caravankids.chryslercanada.ca/registrations/dodgecaravankids/en/contest.php
